Letting my guard down.

I like to act tough, put on a brave face, tell everyone I’m coping just fine. I hate accepting help. I’d rather struggle it out and know that I have put in 100% effort before asking for help and feeling as though I have failed. And as much as I like to think my brave face works (and it does with pretty much everyone), my partner knows better.

At first I didn’t know if I loved or hated the fact that he could see straight through me.

As much as I like to think I’m independent and dislike accepting help.. I need his help, I honestly couldn’t do it without him.

He knows things. He knows I don’t like accepting help and because of this he brushes the big things off as nothing. I slept one night and to someone with no children that sounds normal right? Yea well not for people with newborns.. I was having a rough night and well.. I slept. I didn’t hear baby crying in the other room, but instead of waking me up my partner covered the night shift with baby. Mind you he started work at 6am the next day. He didn’t make me feel bad. He didn’t tell me all the things he had to do last night, all the nappies he had to change, how tired he was. He just did it and went to work the next day.

It may not sound like much to others but it’s the things like this that amaze me. He is my best friend and I always want him around I love him more than I can explain. I’m with him because we both connect on a different level, a level that I really don’t know how to put in words, we know the best and the worst of each other and we both love every bit of it.

I decided that I loved the fact that he could see straight through me. It means when I’m struggling and the last thing I want to do is open up and talk, I don’t have to. I have peace of mind knowing that he knows when I need help and holy moly is he good at helping.

He still amazes me every single day. And I can’t wait to continue to be amazed everyday for the rest of our lives.